10. The first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI!, and you teach your cat how to free spar.

9. You have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more.

8. You shut the refrigerator door with a side kick.

7. You shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them.

6. The only clothes you'll wear are do bahk’s.

5. You actually crave a beach workout.

4. The books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.

3. The Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four do bohk's, five rolls of adhesive tape....twelve cases of Tiger Balm.

2. You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.

1. You refuse to wear shoes.

1. The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

2. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

3. You will have trouble with the ties on your do bahk pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.

4. The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.

5. The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

6. If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

7. After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

8. After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

9. In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.

10. No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.